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Introduction to a Lover of Cats, Books, and Tea
Hi, my name is Rachel, and I'm an English major. (pause for "Hi, Rachel.") It has been two weeks since someone rolled their eyes and/or cringed at my major. It's been 4 hours since someone asked if I was gonna be a teacher. That question probably doesn't bother people who plan to be teachers. I commend those people. I'm not that brave. I'd rather sit alone and edit things. That's my idea of a good time. Especially if I have a lot of extra time to read. Speaking of books, I love them. I'd love to ramble for hours about books. They're great. I especially recommend Three Dark Crowns, my most recent read; the trilogy that begins with A Court of Thorns and Roses, one of my all time favorites; and the Infernal Devices trilogy, which ripped my heart out and still hasn't given a sizable chunk of it back. My taste in television is a bit less exciting. I've watched Friends at least three times this summer. The series, not an episode. So, yeah, I...
Hey Rachel!
ReplyDeleteWow, your stories always get me. They're so nicely written and every word pulls the reader in! I love that you focused on Lakshmi and some of her different forms! I also like that you based if off of how she is judged/misunderstood in many aspects of her life. I think it's a great theme for your storybook and can be related back to real life as well! I like how the introduction set the story lines for your whole project; that way we know what's coming! I don't have many suggestions, but one thing is that when I was reading it, I got confused because I thought all the paragraphs were connected. And then I realized each one was a different form of Lakshmi and will have different plots. I understand that labeling each paragraph would take away from the way the introduction is written, though. So even if you can't change that it's fine! I loved it and I can't wait to read all of it!
Rachel,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading this story and the different spin you put on the meaning than others. I thought your writing was very well written and really was impressed. I think this is a great way to start your storybook and will hope to get to read more as the semester progresses. I think you did a great job of setting up how you will continue to progress in your story book. I think you have done a really good job of doing that so far. Lakshmi has a lot of different forms and covering her will make for a great storybook. I also think her story will be a little easier to relate to our everyday lives making the writing more enjoyable for yourself. I always like to write whenever I can relate it back to personal stories and think you will enjoy it as well. Keep up the good work and hope to get to read more soon.
Hi Rachel,
ReplyDeleteYou definitely took a different approach to the project and I think that it payed off. You were able to jump right into the story from the start by setting the scene. You were also able to create a lot of tension in your writing with not only your word choice but also your punctuation, for example when you wrote the sentences:
"The forest.
The kidnapping.
The trial.
The distrust.
The abandonment."
This is really what set the tone for me when reading this. Also the title coincides very well with the style of writing, it is dark and mysterious. I was a little confused when I reached the end. If i'm interpreting this correct Lakshmi is reincarnating and living in all these different timelines? Either way I do not think it would hurt too much to make it a little bit more clear the direction of this.
Rachel, I believe that your story will be a very empowering one. Your closing paragraph was very strong and to the point. Lakshmi will never crumble! So, I expect that each of your stories is going to be about a time that she faced a hardship and prevailed, showing her true strength of character. I have seen a few other stories and projects in this class that are very empowering for women, so it is nice to see that the themes that you are writing on are going to have an impact on most of the people who read them. I also agree with Brad's comment that the successive short sentences which are given their own space are kind of harsh and create the just the right amount of tension. I get the feeling that this project already means a lot to you, and I can't wait to read more of your Storybook soon!
ReplyDeleteHello Rachel,
ReplyDeleteI can't wait to read the rest of your portfolio. You have a very interesting but intriguing writing style. Your diction in your introduction is amazing. The story of Sita is not all glitz and glamour. So, you making that a point in your introduction is really good. This is a cool way to start off the stories in your portfolio. It would be cool idea, if you end your portfolio similar to how you started it. Keep the audience wondering and let them feel the emotions form the stories in your portfolio. The only thing that I would suggest is narrowing down maybe what part of the story you plan to do next. I felt like I was reading a summary. However, if that was your plan to summarize Sita's life then jump into the stories. You did great ! Can't wait to read more !
Hello Rachel!
ReplyDeleteYour project popped up using the randomizer and seeing the title made me excited that it randomized yours. Your title made me wonder what your project was going to be about. This is an awesome thing to have in your project. My project is still called ‘Portfolio Project’ and it is in desperate need of a tune up! Your layout is beautiful. I love the image you chose and the white. It looks so clean and simple. I found your introduction to be very well written. I can tell you have edited and tweaked it a lot because I truly cannot find anything wrong with it! The style you have chosen is also great, as it made me want to continue down to see what you would do next. The paragraph and then the short sentences that had a new line each time gives great flow and interest to the reader. Great job! Looking forward to all that you add to your storybook!
Hi Rachel!
ReplyDeleteYou are an extremely talented writer. I really enjoy your stories.
Your introduction does a great job of hooking the reader and then explaining what your project is going to be about. I like the picture for both your introduction and your main page. I feel that the grey picture fits very well with the theme of your stories and the picture of the woman on the main page shows empowerment. I did have a bit of a problem finding the links to your intro and first story, but I think that is more me than you.
I like that your stories seem to have an overall theme and that you are looking at Sita and Rama much differently that most people do. It's definitely an interesting perspective that deserves to be explored, and it fits so well with your writing style. I'm looking forward to seeing more of your stories.
Hey Rachel!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I absolutely love the picture you chose for the home-page of your storybook and how it portrays your title "Sita, Sidewalks, Shadows, Stars" perfectly! I will say that reading your introduction paragraph there was no way I was going to back out and click on a different storybook. You do an incredible job at really grabbing the readers attention right from the start. I really like how you talked about a separate life in the first story and w hat's better than the scenes taking place in New York? I also agree with many of the other comments that this is empowering for women. I love the unique idea and how you've tied it to different lives and scenarios.
I'll also say that I didn't notice any grammatical mistakes whatsoever. You're a talented writer and I can't wait to read more as your storybook continues, great job!
Hey Rachel,
ReplyDeleteI read your introduction and the first story, which was well incorporated. I liked how you resembled some solar events of Royina to Ramayana. Especially when the man tried to get, I could understand that you were talking about Sita and the scene, where Ravana comes as a disguise of a sage to steal her. I liked the idea of giving Royina the power and actually standing up for herself, the best part was, when she threw the ring and was not afraid to leave her lover. It proved something that the epics under portrayed. I did not see any noticeable errors so good job. Look like you are great at writing. I would maybe provide a little background on what Kalarippayattu is in the story so the readers understand it easily. You can have leave the link at the end, so if the reader wants to know more about the topic.Otherwise, great job and I can't wait to read more from you! Good luck!
Hi Rachel!
ReplyDeleteI really love both your project idea and the design of your webpage. Not only is it super creative to have a story about Lakshmi in a new incarnation, but the cosmopolitan background to the website and the pictures you have really add to the mood, as well. I thought you did a great job prefacing the story by telling it from the point of view of Royina, and the way you developed her, as a character, was fantastic. I thought it was absolutely fantastic that you incorporated Kalarippayattu into your story - I heard about this martial art form a couple years ago when I saw a short documentary about it, and I thought it was really cool that you managed to incorporate it. A Overall, wonderful job on the concept and the writing, and I look forward to reading more of your work!
First of all, your title is very cute! It's very indicative of the kind of writing we will encounter. Second, I love that you focus on Sita! I love seeing the women represented in the stories, but I especially love getting to see them live and adventure outside of their original stories as strong and well-rounded women. I also enjoyed how dramatic you made your intro with the spacing and flourishes of language that you used. I'm hoping to see more of that as you continue your project!
ReplyDeleteI also hope you continue the trend of using Friends style titles for your stories.
I like that Sita/Royina is relatable, yet strong. She shows emotion, and you don't hold anything back as you retell her story in modern day. It's very reminiscent of Amba, I think, in case you meant to do that. I loved reading how heart-wrenching parts of this first story were.
Hi Rachel!
ReplyDeleteI want to start out by complimenting your blog layout. The images within and the set-up looks great!
You have a talent when it comes to imagery in your story-telling. I could really picture everything happening as I read thanks to the amazing detailing. I love that you gave Sita so much power and confidence. I feel as though there aren't many stories that show this. Also, I love that you had the dialogue between her and her husband as I feel that is a situation that happens often in real life. But, now-a-days I feel as though women are not shown in the moments that you have displayed so perfectly in your story. In addition, I love that she did a form of self-defense growing up and your story displays how is came in handy. I love that because I can relate to it personally as I did boxing growing up as a hobby.
I really look forward to reading more of your storybook in the future!
Oh, hey there, friend!
ReplyDeleteI am here from the Mythology and Folklore class, reading your stuff because we talk about it all the time in our other class. And, wow, I was not disappointed! Let me tell you though, I know what the quote on this page is from, and I do not like that you're copy-catting Kiersten White. Just kidding! I love that you used her quote.
As for your story-telling, I am not surprised that I was impressed. You are writing something that is incredibly interesting to me, and it's definitely something that I would read if I had the ability to pull the book off the shelf at Barnes and Noble. Your characterization of your protagonist is awesome and I'm so glad that you made her such a strong, female presence within the piece. The only thing that I could criticize is in your author's note. You wrote "and" instead of "an," which only bothered me because I want you to be perfect; I mean, more perfect than you already are.
Looking forward to continually coming back to this and reading more.
Rachel, I love how powerful your current stories are! The introduction really sets us up for what is to come. I like that you incorporated the Ramayana in both stories, where no matter in what life she lives, reincarnated from Sita, she would experience some type of kidnapping yet triumph through them. It was neat that you incorporated Kalarippayattu into the first story, as well. I hadn't heard of it before until now. The one thing I did wonder was if Royina and Himil were engaged or married? Because you added her throwing her ring away. Maybe a background story of the two of them could be added for us to understand how it led to her leaving him, though he preferred her to stay home. As I read the second story, I noticed a connection, where you have both women from the first story and second, pass on their skills and teach other children. I think that is incredible. I would have liked to understand more about Shadowhunters and how they came to be on the earth, since they are half angels. I really like that you had the dynamic of both stories different, where in the first she was human and in the second, it was more supernatural. Great work!
ReplyDeleteHey, Rachel.
ReplyDeleteI was reading "So no one Told you Life was gonna be this Way" and I immediately picked up notes of Paley's version of the Ramayana. I knew you were resonating with her when I saw your home page that said 'I'd choose me in a hundred lives.'
It seems homogeneous with Paley's feminist interpretation of the Ramayana. It is really, very good, and has a very uplifting and positive message. I think it's awesome that you focus on Sita- I actually learned quite a bit about Sita from your stories. I think it would be cool if you included a little more in the way of media in your pages. It's nice to embed some music or a video to give a sense of vibe. Even more photos can help give the reader a break from dense text. Great job overall, and I can't wait to see this finished up!
Hi Rachel!
ReplyDeleteI have almost come to check out your storybook many times, the title was so interesting, but I kept saving it for later. I'm glad I finally came! I really, really love what you're doing with this story. I like the idea of continuing Sita's story through the future lives of Lakshmi, and that she continues to learn and get stronger with each iteration. Incorporating other fictional worlds into your stories, such as Cassandra Clare's, is really brilliant and it adds a sort of depth and background to the stories that you're telling. In the two stories that are there so far, each iteration of Lakshmi has ultimately ended up teaching children how to fight and defend themselves. Is this going to be your overall goal, to show that Lakshmi's ultimate purpose is as a teacher, helping to make children become a stronger version of themselves? You've done a really great job with this, and I can't wait to see how it ends!
Rachel!
ReplyDeleteBefore I even read any of your stories, I was interested in your website because of its clever title and great picture on your home page. The color scheme is so clean and very fitting to your stories... I love the design of your blog!
As for the content of the stories, I loved reading them. The introduction was incredible; it was so much like the opening of a novel or fantasy TV show. I was sucked in from the beginning. The introduction gave great insight about what I was about to read, and the stories following definitely did not disappoint! The first story, just like the website as a whole, had a great title (love that song!). This one was particularly more relatable to me because it was set in somewhat-modern times in NYC (familiar locations and times really engage readers). Each story also had the appropriate amount of dialogue and detail relating to the character. I felt like I had a sense of the different people Lakshmi became, and they all have similarities even though their lives were so different. Thank you so much for your wonderful stories; you are a gifted and creative writer, and I can't wait to read more!
Hey Rachel.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I’d like to say that your site design has to be my favorite. The home pages’ picture was eye catching and pretty and the overall color scheme is nice. There are several things I love in this version of Lakshmi’s life. I like how she is a strong independent woman and how she doesn’t let her boyfriend put her down. I also like how this is combined with the shadowhunter world because it is one of my favorite book series. I also like how your author’s notes are good at explaining the changes you made and why you made them. I also like how you explain the shadowhunter world a little so other people who aren’t familiar with it can know what it is about. The only suggestion I would make is that you maybe explain the shadowhunter terminology so as to allow others to have a better understanding of the story. All in all, I really like your story and hope to read more of it.
Hey Rachel! I remember reading your introduction a few weeks ago and I couldn't wait to read your actual stories! I just read the two that you have up there, and I love them! Like I said before, I really love that you chose to do reincarnations of the Goddess Lakshmi and decided to portray each avatar in the same kind of light, where she is completely independent and can do things by herself, but her man doesn't trust her or doesn't approve of what she does. I like that in the first story, you have Royina leave her husband. It seemed really abrupt, the way she left him after a few comments back and forth, but I kinda liked that she realized what kind of person he was and realized he wasn't for her immediately, rather than conformed to what he wanted. Your stories are written so flawlessly and every word just flows so well! Your ideas are super creative and I honestly can't wait to read the last two stories you post on here soon!
ReplyDeleteHello Rachel ! You did a great job with your storytelling! I like how you turned Sita in to the character Royina. I was able to easily follow along with your story, knowing that Sita is Royina. The idea of doing a reincarnation of the goddess Sita is a great one. I would suggest in your next storytelling to incorporate more visuals details ! For me it is always easier to follow along with stories that have good visual diction. I think that the story of Sita is a beautiful but daughting one. Therefore, in order to feel all of the different emotions it is necessary to include visual details. I cannot wait to read more on your portfolio. Keep up the good work !
ReplyDeleteHi Rachel! Great job with your introduction and stories. I loved the first story and having the main character be in another life that was so completely different from her own was fun to read. The ending to the story was so powerful and uplifting as well. I don't really have any comments on what you should change. I think more images would help give a better picture like Taylor suggested, but I know I personally struggle with that as well. I just have a hard time finding the kind of specific images that I'm looking for. Reincarnations are the coolest to read in my opinion and probably the most fun to write because you can take the story anywhere you want! You have done such a great job with all of your stories. I look forward to reading more of your portfolio! Good job :)
ReplyDeleteHey Rachel,
ReplyDeleteI have read your introduction and first story few weeks back and now I am glad to read the last two stories of your project. I am glad I got to finish your whole project, I really like the way it turned out. In the story "City of Lotus Blossoms," I liked that you kept up with the original story of Sita. Where she is kidnapped and tested for her loyalty. I like your version better as it was way more interesting to see Sita being reincarnated into many other forms and live a complexity different lifestyle. The last story was one o fly favorite as that was the last reincarnation of Sita, who actually got what she fully deserved. It was nice that you changed up the last story to give Sita medals for her bravery instead of punishing her. In both stories, I did not see any mistakes, everything looked smooth. Good job on finishing your project!
Hi there Rachel! It is so nice to meet ya!
ReplyDeleteOkay, I am really digging the vibe of your storybook! It's like these girls were something in their past life (or are modern day figures of the ancient goddesses) and it gives them different powers in their real lives. I couldn't quite distinguish whether these women were actually goddesses at one point, and are now living in modern times? The authors note kind of references that, but more references the source you used for your story.
The biggest recommendation that I always give, and one that I could see doing really well with your storybook, is the creation of a introduction through the eyes of the author/narrator. You could introduce the girls, what they are doing, and how goddesses plays into it. I think it could be so helpful for novice readers coming in!
Great job so far and happy writing!
Hey Rachel!
ReplyDeleteI loved your project! I thought your home page was especially great because the picture you chose really popped and made your site fun to look at. I did suggest with some other students that doing a Table of Contents on your home page might be helpful. You could write out the stories’ full titles in the table of contents and then just make the tabs, “Story #1, Story #2” etc. But that could just be a preference of my own. I think the Table of Contents just makes it easier to navigate and it allows you to show the entirety of your stories in one spot. But when you put the whole title in the tabs, it ends up having to make a “more…” tab because the story titles are too long! But the stories themselves were really great and I don’t see much you could change with them. Great work! I hope I get to read more of your stuff later on!
Hey Rachel,
ReplyDeleteLet me start off by saying you are a fantastic writer!! I read "So no one told you life was gonna be this way", and I was hooked! But to start off in the Intro your writing format was great. Especially the part where you listed off all the things that happened to Sita and created new paragraphs each time. It really helped lead the way it was intended to be read.
In your first story I really loved how you placed Lakshmi in a 21st century scenario. It really did make the story seem real and was also a lot of fun to read. Some questions that I had when reading were why did Himil and Royina's conversation escalate so quickly? I know why it did in the Ramayana, but without any of that background knowledge I would have been confused as to why Royina was so quick to pick a fight and end an engagement over a comment about if she were assaulted in the altercation. Later on in that conversation we discover that Royina isnt a virgin anymore, but if that wasn't a problem when they first started dating, what lead it to being a problem?
Besides that one spot, I really enjoyed the rest of your story and the empowering character that Royina was to stick up for herself, but also to teach other women how to do the same. Great job!
Hi Rachel! Wow, this was a really unique portfolio. I enjoyed the simple and sophisticated vibe of the look you chose. My favorite part about “So No One Told You Life Was Going To Be This Way” was the intensity of the story. I think you did a great job in creating the serious scenes. My favorite part about “City of Lotus Blossoms” was the character of Darpa! When you introduced my immediate thought was “Hm, how mysterious.” My favorite part about the “Final Frontier was the space like theme! One thing I did wonder about was the navigation for your portfolio. I found myself struggling to find the stories, and other things you might have pasted. What if you made the labels more clear, and deleted the “read more” option? Other than that, I truly enjoyed this portfolio, and you stories were great to read! I look forward to more of your writing!
ReplyDeleteHey, Rachael! I really like the look of your website the colors and pictures are great! I also really like your writing style! I even like the alliteration in your title. Your writing in the introduction serves to make me want to read on. Your stories are wonderfully written. They also have the right amount of dialogue to move the story along and the dialogue is very well done. The pop culture reference in your first story's title is awesome. The only suggestion I really have is to take a look at your dialogue. As I said before the dialogue is very strong but the way in which it is written sometimes seems to stop abruptly. Sometimes your characters speak in short phrases that can leave the reader wanting just a little more exposition. Other than that, I really like the direction you took here and love the concept that you are working with, well done!
ReplyDeleteHi Rachel!
ReplyDeleteI just really loved this storybook, and I thought that how you chose to end it was creative, touching, and very clever. It might have taken a very long time, and many lives, but Lakshmi/Sita finally got a happy ending, and the love and trust that she deserved. She was able to find her own power and peace within herself. The stories themselves are written beautifully, and I thought that your dialogue was good and overall felt very natural. I also enjoyed the way you incorporated pop culture into your storybook in addition to the more ancient ideas of reincarnation. Incorporating the Star Trek and the Shadowhunters worlds into your own was a neat idea, because they are different, but might also be familiar to the reader. Congratulations on a job well done!
I really like the premise of your project. It is interesting to see Sita able to take a leading role in the stories since she was such a passive player in the readings we did. I like the concept of all the ancient stories taking place again in modern times as well. I think that it allowed for a new perspective on them and one that is much more relatable.
ReplyDeleteAs for the stories I really like how instead of simply adapting them, you are expanding on them. I like how you've imagined how the stories might continue after everything seems settled. The butt kicking SIta doesn't hurt either. I think you did a very good job with these.