Week 12 Storytelling: Space Between Us
The stardust was thick as the King chased the Comet deer, stone wrought into long legs and a twist of antlers, through the cosmos. He urged his charioteer faster, ever faster, as they sped after their prize. They were almost upon it when they heard a voice. The glowing emptiness of the king's eye sockets hunted the voice now, the deer momentarily forgotten.
"That song must be the hermits."
Two cascading forms, dark swirling purple ether tumbling into and over itself, drew closer. The king, hulking light and shining gold, rose to meet them.
"King, please leave the deer be. It deserves to live, no?"
"Of course," rumbled the king.
The hermits tumbled into the shape of a bow, then led the king away to the grove of their hermitage, tucked in the tendrils of a supernova. The kings strayed from the hermits who lead him when he spotted a swirl of fair maidens, luminescent green ether, delicate and bright. He watched them, quickly falling in love with the brightest. She transfixed him, made his eyes dim. Soon he could no longer contain himself. The bees, wisps of stardust themselves, and the flowers, nova gems, all quivered at his approach, but the maiden was in awe of the king, a gleaming mountain crowned with comet antlers of past hunts.
They were wed, but he had to leave her at the hermitage for a time. This did not seem to be a problem until the lovelorn maiden, her glow diminished, did not heed the coming of a hungry guest. His heart a black hole, his being the light that is sucked in, he cursed her to be forgotten by her husband. Her friends begged on her behalf, the light of their tears feeding the void within him. He agreed that her husband would only forget her until he saw the gem that bound them.
Time passed.
The king reigned, and his crown grew, and the stars traveled farther apart, and the maiden lost the ring. She feared now that she would never be reunited with her love, and he would not even share her pain.
She went to his castle to be near him, hoping that perhaps she could convince him to love her once more, but the curse was absolute. The nebula palace held no joy for her.
Some time later, a fisherman pulled a gem from the mouth of Pisces. He was seen with the gem by palace guard who thought there could be no way that the poor man could afford such a ring, and who would have the luck to find such a thing? They took him before the king, man of starlight and ring of love, and the king remembered. It was then that his eyes fell upon his beloved, swirling green ether gone dark and despondent, and remembered her light. He ran to embrace her, and wrapped in gold arms, she shone. From that day on the galaxies and the supernovas and every other glorious thing paled in comparison to their love. They could never again be pulled apart.
Author's Note: This story is based on the events of the play, Shakuntala, by Kalidasa. In that play, a king falls in love with a hermitess. In the play, their courtship is longer. There is a curse, though, when the lovesick woman ignores a guest, and the king forgets her. The curse is broken by the ring that he married her with, which is found by a poor fisherman in a fish's mouth. The man is brought before the king, and he finally remembers his wife. In my story, I shortened and condensed the plot, and I set it in space, and made the characters bits of space as well. I wanted to try to create something ethereal with the lovely plot of Kalidasa's play.
Source: Kalidasa. Shakuntala and Other Works
Photo Source: Hubble Captures Cosmic Ice Sculptures by NASA Goddard Space Flight Center
Rachel,
ReplyDeleteI like how you used some good dialogue in this writing as it added a more personal touch to it. You have a really nice story here and I like how you developed your own touch to this play. I love seeing how different people change little bits and pieces of the original story to make it their own and you did a really good job of that.
Hi Rachel,
ReplyDeleteWOW. What a great story. I really enjoyed the idea that the character where actually bits of the universe. Just like your last story your writing is great and the story is interesting and compelling. I loved the imagery of the King and his love drifting farther and farther across the cosmos as her light diminishes and then finding one another again and it reviving both of them. Well done!
-Elizabeth
Hey Rachel!
ReplyDeleteThis story was so creative. I really enjoyed reading it. You really had some of your own unique twists on the original story. I especially like the dialogue you threw in there. In my opinion, dialogue always makes stories more engaging and fun to read. It is almost as if you can interact with the characters by reading through their own words.
Hi Rachel,
ReplyDeleteThis was a great twist to the story, I have not read this story before so it was completely new to me. Your author's note really helped me know the previous version of the story and how you changed it. It was also good that you incorporated dialogues into the story as it keeps it more engaging. Overall, good job and I can't wait to read more from you.