Week 2 Story: The Little Boy who Picked the Witch's Flowers
"I bet you won't do it."
Buddy frowned at Devon. Devon was always taunting him, trying to get him to do things he shouldn't. He hugged too hard, and he even tried to bite him once. Buddy tried to play nice, but it was hard sometimes.
Today, Devon was trying to goad Buddy into picking flowers from the house on the end of the street. All the kids on the block were scared of the house on the end of the street. It was dark, with an overgrown garden, and it had a tall wire fence around it to keep people out. It took up the entire end of the cul-de-sac. All of the kids used to just avoid it, but ever since someone had realized they could squeeze through the fence, now all of the kids dared each other to sneak onto the property to ring the doorbell or pick flowers from the garden.
"You're just scared."
"No I'm not," Buddy replied in his most grown-up voice. "It's just that my Mommy says I can't."
"Buddy's scared!" Devon snag.
"Fine, I'll go pick flowers. Wait here."
Buddy headed down the sidewalk. As the house got closer, he started to notice toys lying among the garden plants. Some looked new, but some looked like they had been lying there for a long time. Buddy crouched outside the fence, thinking. He didn't want to go inside the fence, but he didn't want to go back to Devon without some flowers. He looked back. Devon couldn't see him, or at least he didn't think he could, because Buddy couldn't see Devon. He wanted to reach through the fence, pluck a few flowers, and run, but his arms were too short. That's when he saw the claw arm. It was just close enough that Buddy could stick his leg through the fence and drag it towards him. He opened and closed the claw a few times to test it out. It still seemed to work. It was just long enough to reach the nearest flowers. Buddy had finally gathered a fistful of flowers when a shadow fell over him.
"What are you doing?"
Buddy looked up at the woman looming over him. She didn't look angry, but it was so hard to tell with some adults.
"Your flowers were pretty, so I was just picking a few."
The woman chuckled. It didn't seem like an evil chuckle though. Buddy thought he heard her mutter, "Clever boy." She turned and clipped off some flowers with a pair of shears, creating a bouquet too big for Buddy to carry.
"Why don't we take these to your mother. She likes flowers, doesn't she?"
Buddy nodded, unable to speak.
"Lead the way," the woman said with a smile.
Buddy headed home, the claw-crumpled flowers still in his fist, the woman behind him with a flamboyant bouquet. He grinned at Devon as they passed him, laughing at Devon's mouth hanging open. Devon didn't taunt him any more after that day.
Buddy frowned at Devon. Devon was always taunting him, trying to get him to do things he shouldn't. He hugged too hard, and he even tried to bite him once. Buddy tried to play nice, but it was hard sometimes.
Today, Devon was trying to goad Buddy into picking flowers from the house on the end of the street. All the kids on the block were scared of the house on the end of the street. It was dark, with an overgrown garden, and it had a tall wire fence around it to keep people out. It took up the entire end of the cul-de-sac. All of the kids used to just avoid it, but ever since someone had realized they could squeeze through the fence, now all of the kids dared each other to sneak onto the property to ring the doorbell or pick flowers from the garden.
"You're just scared."
"No I'm not," Buddy replied in his most grown-up voice. "It's just that my Mommy says I can't."
"Buddy's scared!" Devon snag.
"Fine, I'll go pick flowers. Wait here."
Buddy headed down the sidewalk. As the house got closer, he started to notice toys lying among the garden plants. Some looked new, but some looked like they had been lying there for a long time. Buddy crouched outside the fence, thinking. He didn't want to go inside the fence, but he didn't want to go back to Devon without some flowers. He looked back. Devon couldn't see him, or at least he didn't think he could, because Buddy couldn't see Devon. He wanted to reach through the fence, pluck a few flowers, and run, but his arms were too short. That's when he saw the claw arm. It was just close enough that Buddy could stick his leg through the fence and drag it towards him. He opened and closed the claw a few times to test it out. It still seemed to work. It was just long enough to reach the nearest flowers. Buddy had finally gathered a fistful of flowers when a shadow fell over him.
"What are you doing?"
Buddy looked up at the woman looming over him. She didn't look angry, but it was so hard to tell with some adults.
"Your flowers were pretty, so I was just picking a few."
The woman chuckled. It didn't seem like an evil chuckle though. Buddy thought he heard her mutter, "Clever boy." She turned and clipped off some flowers with a pair of shears, creating a bouquet too big for Buddy to carry.
"Why don't we take these to your mother. She likes flowers, doesn't she?"
Buddy nodded, unable to speak.
"Lead the way," the woman said with a smile.
Buddy headed home, the claw-crumpled flowers still in his fist, the woman behind him with a flamboyant bouquet. He grinned at Devon as they passed him, laughing at Devon's mouth hanging open. Devon didn't taunt him any more after that day.
Author's Note: This story is loosely based on the Jataka, The Monkey who Gathered Lotuses. Buddy stands in for the Buddha, and Devon for Devadatta. Rather than an Ogre, there is an Old Witch at the end of the lane. Rather than having Devadatta as Buddha's father asking him to go fetch lotuses, hoping he will be killed, Devon taunts Buddy to try to get him in trouble.
Bibliography: The Monkey who Gathered Lotuses - Tayodhamma Jataka in The Jataka: Volume 1 translated by Robert Chalmers.
Photo Source: Witch House Salem Mass. by Janet Lindenmuth
Wow, I really like your version of the story! It's so creative, even with the names! I did a rewrite on this story as well, and I was having a tough time coming up with names for Devasatta and Bodhisatta (even though I could have used any names, I wanted them to have a meaning to it). Anyway, I also really liked that you replaced the father with a bully, just trying to taunt Buddy instead of kill him. You put an interesting spin to it :)
ReplyDeleteThis story is so sweet, and I love the names you chose for your characters. The two brothers and the house at the end of the street remind me so much of "To Kill a Mockingbird" and the incident with the Radley's house at the end of their street. The two children always tried to be brave and walk by the eerie Radley house. At the end, Boo Radley left toys for them and he eventually came out of the house-- these are so similar! In case you haven't notices, "To Kill a Mockingbird" is one of my favorite books, so your new version of this story warmed my heart! Have a great semester, and I hope to read your stories and posts again soon.
ReplyDeleteThat "witch" turned out to not be so bad, huh? I thought you did an amazing job at recreating this story. The whole time I was reading through it I was wondering what the outcome was going to be. For some reason, I was thinking of parts of the movie, Matilda and Mrs. Trunchbull. However, this witch was nothing in comparison, she was a sweet lady who helped Buddy out. The use of dialogue also helped in order to give the characters more personality. I also enjoyed the ending as it kind of left off with a "HAHA" moment. Great job!
ReplyDeleteI really liked this story. It was interesting how you changed it from the original. Also, the layout of this blog is really cool and very organized. I haven't made up any names yet but I like that idea. It gives you more control over your story and a better understanding of the characters you are developing your story around.
ReplyDeleteRachel,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your story. I like that it was based on people and things that young children would definitely do. Your detail throughout was great and I really liked the dialogue. The picture you chose really adds to the story as well. I also like how you worked up to the claw arm by having a bunch of toys lying around instead of just conveniently having the arm, and I thought it was great that it became irrelevant in the end.
I look forward to reading more of your stories this semester.